I’ve been wracking my brain all week wondering what kind of post I wanted to publish. Mental health awareness, during every week, is extremely important and I am always ready to talk about it with anyone who wants to – or sometimes doesn’t want to. Then I saw a post on X (formally twitter) asking for low budget tips to help with anxiety and boom, I realised they’re right there in my brain, but I take them for granted because I use them often, almost every day to be honest, and so they’re just part of normal function for me. But on the off chance they’re helpful to even one person, here they are:
- Routine – make one, have one, commit to one. Find a cafe you feel safe in and go there, I go to the same cafe almost every Monday, I spend £7 on earl grey tea and toast. Mostly I write, but sometimes I go just to feel the calm sense of normality being there brings. It’s a great way to start the week and only part of my routine, but you have build yours full of things that feed you positivity – which will be different to what feeds me.
- Spend time outside – this is so much easier with the milder weather. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent outside with my laptop or just in the hammock with my book. Currently my mental health is in such a better place just for this activity. Its not just about the rush of oxygen from fresh air, but about how your senses are bathed in light, sounds and scents that can calm you. You can recreate this later, a sensory reminder, by using an esssential oil like lavender (which mimics the lavendar bushes I planted in the garden) to ground yourself when you’re stuck inside and inching into anxiety.
- Walk/exercise – it doesn’t have to be far, but it does ideally need trees or at least a pretty view. The Japanese swear by tree bathing for a reason, but the movement of walking adds to your body being filled with lovely feelings of calm. I also do a weekly pilates class, stretching out the stress and strain of the week really helps me reset for another week (you could absolutely find a class on Youtube and even do it in the garden if you have the luxury!) Top tip, make sure its a time that encourages you to go even when you don’t feel like it. I easily slip into despondancy or exhaustion the later it gets, my class is at 6pm so I rarely have time, after handing over the kids for the other half to do bathtime, to talk myself out of going.
- Listen to music – whatever your soul needs to be fed. Right now I am living for some punk pop, which is weird what with my noise sensitivity, but I am loving the Fourth Wing – Rebecca’s version on Spotify! Other times I go for classical movie tunes.
- Read – reading six pages a day of a recreational book has been scientifically proven to improve your mood – among other things. Combine this with point one and you’re honestly away!
- Talk to someone – about anxiety or not. Remembering you have a connection to another human being who lives a different life can really help you get out of your head. If you can meet in person then even better! If this isn’t an option, deciding on affirmations is incredibly powerful, it’s something I learned during hypno birthing and I still often recite “I am calm, I am capable, I am in control of my body and my mind,” whenever my anxiety spikes.
- Spend time considering and making food – good food is like a balm for your body, soul and mind. Summer is the month of salads, but salads don’t have to be boring and full of leaves! Hot smoked salmon and wild rice with broccoli and garlic is one of my summer staples and always makes me feel nourished. Find foods that you love and learn to make them, don’t worry if you get it wrong, it’s the process that helps as much as the food itself! Lemon meringue is a new one I’ve mastered and I can’t wait to eat copious amounts of frothy, zesty pie while sitting in the hammock! P.S. I appreciate this isn’t for everyone, a really accesible thing to make are smoothies: frozen mango, a spoonful of coconut collective and a dash of water is a favourtie blend in our house and perfect for cooling down in the heat.
- Have a cleaning day – the adage of ‘clear home, clear mind’ is particularly impactful for me. Imagine how fun that is with two kids and a husband, I’m suddenly surrounded by boys who think tidying means nudging their dirty socks into a pile – yes even the little one! We TRY (but don’t always manage it) to dedicate one afternoon a week to giving the house a top to tie clean. But it’s not just the result that helps, it’s the action of doing something to look after the environment you live in. If you find cleaning deathly dull, pop some music on and wail out some tunes, give that bum a wiggle and turn it into something fun.
- Write it down – if all of the above just aren’t working you can start a worry diary, there’s a whole theory that’s linked to CBT but the most important thing is naming what you’re feeling, that emotion that’s swirling in your mind and demanding attention, and with every pen stroke draining it’s heft into the ink on the page. Keep writing until you feel a sense of weight lifting, no matter how small, and then pay attention to the action of closing the book and putting it in its place on a shelf. This is a great activity to do before bed, and you can just do it on your phone and then delete the note afterwards. P.S. What you write doesn’t have to make sense in any way, so just let your instinct lead the pen.
- Seek help – it’s last but by no means least. If these ideas still feel like another overwhelming list, you might need to dig further and have a chat with a doctor. Medication isn’t the only answer but it’s also NOTHING to be ashamed of. Life is hard, the world is heavy, we are all trying to paddle the turbulent ocean of the world in our individual boats and sometimes your oars need a bit of help. They (a doctor) may also suggest speaking to someone and again, there should only be pride that you’re willing to push yourself out of your comfort zone to help yourself, shame has no place here. If these options are still too scary right now, there are some brilliant and free yoga practises on YouTube, as well as meditation practises. If you’re worried it’s too ‘woo-woo’ still, then remember that yoga is a form of exercise that reminds your body and mind that they are connected through breath and movement. Mediation is an exercise for your mind and involves breathing and visualising your body with ultimately the same goal as yoga. So when you feel so disconnected from yourself and the world, they’re honestly wonderful options.
It’s not an exhaustive list. But it’s a list of things that have really helped me throughout my life. When there have been additional stressors I have of course sometimes found myself in a pit regardless, and that’s when I’ve learned to be kind to myself most. To let myself rest if that’s what my mind and body needs most. When I’m ready, I start with step one on this list, and honestly it takes time but I eventually get to a point when I’m able to function again. For some of us, anxiety is always present. For others, it comes and goes but still requires work.
For the benefit of the doubt anxiety is the overwhelm of the brain and senses and being anxious is a momentary surge in these feelings as a response to a situation that dissipate more quickly.
Another thing I haven’t mentioned are boundaries, I’m here to talk about anything with my friends and family, hell, with anyone on my best days. But on my worst, I can’t take other’s strong emotions on. I’ve learned that it’s not selfish to have boundaries and step back from people or situations that cause a repeated sense of anxiety, it’s honestly the kindest thing to do for myself and for anyone else involved. Have conviction in your boundaries, boundaries should be an outline of a behaviour response for you to follow and not something you expect another person to follow. They do, however, need to respect it as much as they respect you, agreement doesn’t factor.
Mental health awareness week 2024 feels particularly relevant as the world situation spirals, so take care of yourself, you’re human and not a super hero.
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